"The only news you can trust"
Volume 12 Issue 1
100% pure malice
Bunter the Banker speak his mind:
What an absolute shower!
So, one of our better educated chaps from one of our better public schools quite honourably, refers the result of a vote taken to a gang of egregious guttersnipes, to sort out. Well, what a pigs' ear they've made of it.
Of course, your Bunter did try to warn him that the sort of fellows he was entrusting with this duty were the sort of fellows who would cheat at Bridge or Cribbage, if they knew how to play such games, which I doubted. But I'd made my point.
Unwisely, it turns out, he chose to ignore my advice and high-tailed abroad leaving us bankers in an absolute buggers muddle, unsure whether we'll be receiving our usually spectacular mid-year bonuses or not.
I do understand that it's jolly hard cheese for everybody else but sometimes in a national crisis
one's just got to look after oneself.
you absolute rotters
"YOU'VE GOT TO BE STONED TO BE GAY"
Sultan of Brunei
'It's typical of the western, main stream media to twist the truth to fit their Islamaphobic narrative' says Ali-Bin-Ali spokesman for the Hate not Hope group of London. 'The Sultan stands by what he said and is horrified the way it has been reported.
'Not being gay himself he just happened to mention to a journalist that to be gay you probably have to be stoned because otherwise why would two men look with lust upon one another? It was said in jest and suddenly, because of the way the corrupt western media work, he's become a pariah.'
To add insult to injury, when he added that lesbians deserved forty strokes, the media of course forgot to mention the second half of his sentence which was , by other lesbians and he'd like to watch that. Well, what red-bloodied man wouldn't?
So, you see, Islam is yet again being painted in a bad light and our enemies will see us as the barbarians we really are.
Just you wait and see what happens when we establish sharia law in London, things will be very different then.
The Sultan seen here with a bevvy of busty beauties
Forty lesbian strokes
Your caring, sharing, sharia
YOUR CELEBRITY WEATHER FORECAST
It's ex-PM, DC.
"It's gonna be crazy stormy and then crazy cool come Autumn."
What he really said:
The BOOT - putting the record straight:
And the truth shall set you free?? - Page 2
Let's be clear about Brexit - page 4
"I was kissed by an MP" - scandal page 5
AOC to play Glasto page 7
Your letters page 6
...and more, so much more.