"The only news you can trust"
Volume 12 Issue 3
SPECIAL ROYAL SOUVENIR EDITION EDITED BY HRH HARRY
100% pure malice
Bunter the Banker speaks his mind:
I say, you chaps, what a swizz. Those rotters at Kellogs have reduced the size of their cornflake and yet continue to charge a premium price for their product.
Obviously such chicanery doesn't involve me, I haven't had a cornflake since mummy allowed me to wear long trousers.
However, fare's fare. I know a lot of you chaps out there depend on your cornflakes in the morning and won't be happy being charged the same, if not more, for your depleted cereal.
I can tell you, if my butcher shaved even a sliver off my breakfast kidney and then charged me the same price, I'd have his guts on a barbecue.
So it's over to you chaps, either you stick with your now diminuitive Kellog cornflake or make a radical move to Lidl's own brand Big Bake Breakfast Flake with added riboflavin and give Kellogs the crunching they so richly deserve.
...I thought her to be a pretty young American filly with a glamourous background when I first met her. She was sweet, compliant and everything a man in my position could possibly want but goodness gracious me am I 'woke' now?
Anyway, enough I'm sure you'll enjoy the movie they''ll undoubtedly make about her life, with her of course as the star but not as much as I enjoy The BOOT.
One last thing, it was thanks to The BOOT and their brilliant T-Shirts featured on page 10 that The Megs and I got to thinking that we also should set about saving the world, so we've decided to have only two children, which is going to sadly cut down on the bedroom action a bit but when duty calls your HRH's step up to the plate. So thanks to Bazz and his team for this fantastic opportunity and I hope you enjoy this edition as much as I do.
Continued from page 1
YOUR CELEBRITY WEATHER FORECAST
"Hot air and blustery clouds across the whole UK"
DC ex PM
Toodle-pip you absolute rotters.