"The only news you can trust"
Volume 12 Issue 1
100% pure malice
"LET'S BE CLEAR ABOUT BREXIT!"
It all started off with an argument about bendy or not so bendy bananas and now look at the wretched thing. When Jonathan Swift, (bless his soured and septic soul) wrote of Lilliput going to war with Blefuscu over which end to crack a boiled egg,he never thought for a moment that his satire would actually be played out some three hundred years later in the House of Commons.
Six hundred of our finest caterwaurling innanities across the chamber, eager to make their increasingly obscure and irrelevent points to an utterly bewildered nation either gawping from the gallery or watching on television.
You would have thought these 'servants of the people' as they so often like to frame themselves would be duty bound to snap-to-it when their masters decide on a course of action. It's not for them to question that decision, it's simply for them to act upon it and if it then happens to be wrong it's up to them to sort out any mess that might incur.
In any other age these arrogant lumps of wind and subsidised bars and catering would be sacked along with their intolerable female counterparts for simply failing to to live up to their billing.
"Oi baldy! Shut it!"
"Sit down...yer fat slag!"
"You want some, son?"
...and when none of them can agree on anything even trivial they agree on something very important, a holiday. Many taking advantage of the extended Easter break to luxuriate on the continent in question and suckle on all the finer things of life in their privately rented villas rather than spend any time in their curiously run-down and neglected constituencies...well you can't blame them, can you?
"On ya bike, sunshine!"