"The only news you can trust"
Volume 12 Issue 6
100% pure malice
Hi you crazy dudes and dudettes.
Not long to go now before the official Christmas chart is released and I'm rockin' it.
Who's going to get that much coveted Number One top spot? No doubt my friends Simon and Louie are cooking up a couple of earworms for this annual festive challenge.
I don't know about you guys but I love this time of year. Chesnuts roasting by an open fire, mulled wine and all the little children wide eyed at what Santa will bring them from John Lewis or Lidl depending on what their parents can afford.
I remember when I was a young scallywag all I got was an orange which I had to share with my sister, so thanks Sainsbury's for bringing back so many 'fond' memories.
BOOT UP THE VOLUME
Gaylord's hot tip
IT'S A SLAM DUNK
If you like a good tune at Christmas then you're going to love the crazy little number these guys have come up with. It's a slam dunk, in my opinion, for a number one this Christmas. Written by charismatic singer Noddy, 'Happy Christmas Everybody' embodies all that's best about this time of year, kIds, stockings and even Santa Clause. I predict this pop hymn will be on every turntable and in every shopping centre up until the turn of the twenty-first century at least.
A word to the wise, if these guys don't tickle your pudding, then why not check out little Maria Carey's equally brilliant 'All I want for Christmas is you.' A brilliant tune that's bound to clutter up the airways and the charts this Christmas and could like 'Happy Christmas Everybody' prove excruciatingly irritating if played year after year after year after year as they no doubt will be.
TICKLE YOUR PUDDING
Five hot guys offer you a cool Christmas album
'Away in the Mangey' -fab Christmas single from The Rotten - out soon
The Slutz - candlelight classics for Christmas
Shake into Christmas with Shakey's fab new waxing